Offical Disneyland Steps for Removing Vomit

Disneyland workers do not know how to clean up vomit. You would think that if they created a ride such as Space Mountain (one of my personal favorites!), that they would have a vomit removal artist. Someone who would come in with a flourish and remove the offensive vomit so the rest of the ride goers, who aren't so squeamish, can actually get on the ride.

However, this is not the case.

On our fourth and final day in Disneyland- The Day of Loose Ends - we wanted to go on Space Mountain. Again. For Amy and I, for the fifth time. We get almost to the front of the line--maybe a two minute wait--and the line stops. The ride controllers are running empty carts through the ride. A genuine pet peeve of mine. It makes me so frustrated to see empty carts going when I could be on them! Ride broken, be damned!

Anyhoo, after a couple of minutes, I noticed why we were stopped: someone had gotten off the ride and vomited everywhere. Amy and I had a good time wondering who it could have been: was a little kid? An older person?

Then the maintenance guy came out to clean it. Yes, maintenance.

The Disneyland Official Steps in Cleaning Up Vomit:

1) Throw paper towels at the offensive material. Hope it disappears. Even though you are NOT David Copperfield.

2) Take your trusty broom and sweep the paper towels. Try to make a bigger mess than already existed.

3) Throw more paper towels at the offensive material, making sure to make faces while you do this.

4) Repeat step 2.

5) Spray disinfectant on the area, which by now is twice the size of the original offensive area.

6) Stand there, waiting for the disinfectant to dry. This may take some time, but be sure to look really bored and disgusted.

7) Repeat step 1.

8) Repeat step 2.

9) When you are done, do NOT, I repeat do NOT, bow or notice the applause you receive for doing a job that no one else wants to do.

I did not applause. He didn't do a very good job.