Saturday, January 31, 2009

OK, Finally, A Good Date

Is it true? Is it possible? Could it be? Or is it some elusive Batman/Superman figment of my imagination?

I had a good date. Or was it a dream?

As you may know, I have not been feeling up to my normal chipper self this past week, but I had a date last night. I didn't want to go, as it was at 9:00 pm, and since I had been feeling under the weather, I was trying to decide what to do. But I figured, why not go and get it over with?

But I was trying to stay positive. Look on the bright side. Try not to put this date down before I even meet him just because I had a slew of bad dates before. You know, be the opposite of how I actually feel. I don't know if it worked, or if I had some residual Vicodin-cough syrup in me, but I went on the date with a clear mind.

And he is great. Funny, crass, awesome, well-travelled. Like a man version of ME. (Except he is super laid back.)

Friday, January 30, 2009

Alive and Kickin'

Well, I made it. After the worst bout of the flu I have ever had to endure, I am alive and kickin'. But barely.

I was in bed for about three days, and Heather took care of me. Well, she tried to take care of me as she also tried to stay healthy herself. I watched many a DVD. And slept. Some blessed soul invented a cough syrup with VICODIN in it. Heaven. I never slept so well in my entire life. So, there IS a bright side to being sick. But gasping for air is never a good time. No wonder I am claustrophobic.

And tonight, in actually a few minutes, I am off for another date. I think I am a sadist.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Never, EVER Listen to a Crazy Lady on a Plane

On my way home from Idaho at Christmas, I sat next to a nice-looking couple. They might have been around my mom & dad's age, maybe a little younger. I was reading Perfume, and the back cover looked a lot like the back of the book she was reading. She asked me what I was reading; I told her, and she told me what she was reading. Twilight.

This woman (a very nice and enthusiastic woman, indeed) went on and ON about Twilight for oh, probably 20 minutes. I politely listened, and by the end of our conversation, I was convinced I should go out and buy this book immediately. No waiting for my turn on!!

She was wrong. Oh, so very, VERY wrong.

I have never, ever read a more trite, boring, uneventful pile of garbage in my entire life, AND I AM AN ENGLISH MAJOR. I have been forced to read all sorts of garbage, and this tops my list.

I know what you are going to say. "But Micaela, these books are meant for young teen and pre-teen girls." Baloney, I say! When I was that old, I was reading Jane Eyre! Don't give me that crap that girls want this kind of romance. What happened to good old fashioned romance? Mr. Darcy or Mr. Rochester, anyone? I would take those two over this Edward fella any day. (Although, I must admit, Edward WAS my favorite character.)

But honestly. Bella? Never has there been a more pathetic, unlovable, ignorant, gullible heroine in the history of fiction. She is so moronic. I just would not be able to give this book to a young girl and hope that she dreams of being Alice Cullen rather than Bella, because Bella is just so easy to BE. She doesn't DO anything except whatever her boyfriend tells her to do. Except when she might get killed. Then she decides to throw caution to the wind, and damn the consequences. Ugh.

Why would we ever want our young girls to read this? To aspire to be like this? Oh, don't get me wrong. Virginity is a great thing. Abstinence is a wonderful moral to tout. But she doesn't keep her virginity because she wants to. She wants to climb on that sexy-ass vampire faster than you can say "lame vampire book." She can't have sex with him because of ... wait for it .. his rock hard vampire dick.


Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Did Someone Say Oompa Loompa?

During a lull in our workday, my coworkers and I engaged in a discussion about bridesmaids dresses. Then we sidetracked on how I am a wedding dress consultant extraordinaire. Then we started talking about dress lengths and short people.

I am talking people 5'3" and under. People like myself.

So, to set the scene: My boss is a huge admirer of the broomstick skirt. She pulls them off very nicely. They flatter her. Me, on the other hand, not so much. I was demonstrating this to my coworkers today.
"I look like a freaking Oompa Loompa in a skirt like that!"
"What, you have green hair and huge, bushy eyebrows?"
"No! I'm short!! And look funny when I dance."
Then I proceeded to strut around on the floor, squatting like a Russian dancer, in order to demonstrate just exactly how short I look in long dresses.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Look at My New Haircut

I decided I need to do something to start the new year off right. I decided to cut my hair off.

Funny thing is, over Christmas break, Mom and I were lying in her awesome waterbed, watching What Not To Wear, when Mom suggested I cut my hair.

"No, Mom. I have grown this out for a year now. I like being able to pull it back into a pony tail. I know you don't like it, but tough."

Sometimes Mom is right. But shhhh....please don't tell her I said that.

I all of a sudden decided to get my hair cut like Victoria Beckham. OK, it didn't turn out quite like hers, but well, check it out for yourself:

Well, maybe you can't really tell in this picture, but it is super cute. Just take my word for it.

Yes, Yes I Know. (Actually, I Don't)

I got on my facebook page today (LOVE IT!) and lovely Amanda had posted the following:

Amanda June Costello wrote at 9:51pm
Let me recreate a moment from Amanda and Curtis's house. Amanda is brushing her teeth getting ready for bed when she comes into the bedroom to find Curtis laughing- hard. Amanda asks, "Babe, what's so funny?" Curtis turns slightly to reveal his iPhone and Amanda notices that he is reading a blog she herself had been pursuing only moments before. "Is that Ky's blog?" Amanda asks. Curtis replies, "Why have I not read this before? She is so funny!" Amanda laughs and agrees with him as she gets into bed. Curtis, still standing, is laughing harder now, and says "Okay, one more and then I will go to bed." Fast forward a few minutes. Curtis is now in bed and is laughing quietly. Amanda asks, already knowing the answer, " What's so funny?" Curtis replies "Her... Sometimes she just says and writes things that are pee your pants funny." End scene. Lights out. Good night. We think you rock.

Well, I think you two rock. Let me tell you, sometimes I write on this blog, and I think, "I'm am honestly writing for myself." And well, that's OK! But honestly, I don't how funny it really is until someone tells me, which I LOOOOOOVE! (Imagine me saying that in a really awesome Oprah voice.) But God, this little post on facebook made me SMILE. Thanks, lovelies.

And the cupcakes are coming along swimingly.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy New Year!

One of New Year's resolutions is to actually keep up with this blog. I swear, people, it's not you, it's me. (Haven't heard THAT one in a while, huh?) But honestly, I am going to try to get into the swing of things.

Not much happened here today. Last night was a supremely disappointing New Year's Eve on my end. For the first time in 31 years, I had a real, bona-fide date for New Year's. And it didn't snow. And he didn't bail. And I didn't bail. And we were bored with the lack of fireworks, both literally and figuratively. (But before my date, I had a totally awesome gift exachange with friends, and I think everyone should exchange gifts AFTER Christmas, because then it makes it that more fun!)

All in all, I have found that he (I am purposefully failing to mention his name) and I, alas, will be much better friends than partners, and although I am more than a little sad about it, I will live.

So, onward, friends, into the great unknown! Resistance is futile.