Monday, August 27, 2007

My Dear Old Dad

Why this wasn't the first story that anyone told me, I have no idea.

The day that Stephanie was induced, my mom, Steph and Nate all went to the hospital. Dad didn't go because he is deathly afraid of everything, but especially hospitals. So, Dad, being the sweet Daddy he is, decided he will mow the lawn for the new parents. But the Louisiana heat got to him rather quickly, and he decided to call it quits. As he headed inside, he realized he had locked himself out! He had no keys, no phone, and a sick desperation came over him.

He ninja kicked his way inside the house.

He called Steph's cell. Nate's cell. Then Mom's cell. Steph is in heavy labor, and well, rather pissed off. She demands one of the phones from Mom, tells Dad shortly that he must stop bothering her while she is giving birth, and Dad replies, "You need a new door."

Steph then spent the next fifteen minutes convincing herself that she WILL eventually laugh about it.

May I never run out of funny Dad stories.

Friday, August 24, 2007

My Anger is Back

I hope Randy falls off the stage tomorrow, breaks an arm/leg/pelvis and lets Big In Japan play longer because they are a way better band.

Say hello to my old friend, Anger. We are the best of friends. (Reeally I just don't know how to get rid of her......)

Saturday, August 18, 2007

God Help Me, Are Any of Us Safe?

In my dating adventures that I call my life, I have come across the problem of fidelity.

Women are just as bad as men when it comes to fidelity, but in my cases, I have only come across men who have cheated on me, because I only date men. That being said, my conversation henceforth will consist of me arguing that men are tramps. I am well aware of the other side of the argument, but for the purposes of this blog, bear with me.

When Randy and I broke up, he said it was the "realization that he could cheat on me" that woke him up to the fact that we shouldn't be together. Fidelity again rears its no-so-ugly head. Why do them men I date seem to think that realizing they can cheat on me is what makes our relationship go sour?

Everyone CAN cheat on everyone else. It is the fact that once you find someone you truly love, you don't WANT to cheat on that person. You don't WANT to hurt them, mentally or physically. You don't WANT them to feel betrayed, angry, or disillusioned. You want that other person to be happy and to have a feeling of trust in you and in the world.

However, the men I have dated apparently do not feel that way about me.

The things is that no one is safe. I thought the usual. I'm not pretty enough; I'm not smart enough; I'm not funny enough. But then I remembered that a lot of women are cheated on. Some women I know. Some women we all know. (Jennifer Aniston? Hello? She's freaking HOT.) But that is my point. It isn't enough to be hot. Or smart. Or funny. Men are going to cheat because of some weird and strange thing in their brains that the grass is always greener. Men are always looking for someone better. And the fact that we live in a "ME ME ME ME" society does not help our situation any, either, ladies.

So, I am readjusting my list have "Must Haves".

Number one: "Appreciate me for who I am, and don't be looking anywhere else for what I can give you, because I can give you the world. That is, if you are man enough to take it."

Sunday, August 12, 2007

I Call Bullshit

First, Bennifer breaks up. Boring.

Then, Brad breaks up with Jennifer for Angelina. Bleck.

Now, Bono is seen holding hands with Penelope Cruz? What?What?WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I have always stipulated that Bono is a man who honors, trusts, and adores his wife. Now, he is out, creating gossip for everyone to talk about.

In looking at this picture, I see Penelope -- a strong, independent European woman-- SORT OF holding hands with my boyfriend, aka Paul Hewson, aka Bono. But it really does seem to me that this picture is taken WAY out of context and they are simply friends.

Penelope has been helping Bono with his ONE campaign as well as (RED). This woman is just out, using her popularity and celebrity to help Bono in his fight for equality and integrity in the world.

Can't two people who are friends be seen holding hands just be friends? Do we assume that every time someone holds someone else's hands it is because they have a sexual relationship together? I remember a lot of times in high school, college and now that I have held hands with my friends, and in no way was this supposed to indicate a sexual relationships with that other person. It only meant that I love that person and feel comfortable and confident enough to show that love to everyone else.

Of course, no one will agree with me and insist that Bono and his wife are getting a divorce, but I strongly, vehemently disagree.

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Realization # 52

I realized today, as Tracy and I were having yet another unlucky day of yard sales, that I miss what I thought Randy and I had together.

I thought we had trust and caring and fun. I thought he wanted me to be happy with him, and I thought he wanted to share his life with me. Obviously, these things aren't true, but that is what he led me to believe.

And so this is what I miss. I miss what I thought to be truth, and I think that the disappointment that I am feeling now is the disappearance of what I thought to be true. I think that this disappearance of truth is what disappoints us all: finding out there is no Santa, realizing that your parents are fallible, realizing that the person you love and trust isn't worthy of that love and trust.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Back to the Grind

I'm dating. Again. My theme for the past two days has been, "I WON'T give up!" Now, I realize that I am probably trying too hard, but I have got to get rid of this pity party that goes on in my head every day.

I am doing better. I don't cry every day. In fact, I haven't cried in one week. Take that, ...what was his name? Oh well. Obviously, I'm better off if I am not even crying over him, and I'm just pissed.

Anyhoo, I will obviously keep everyone posted on my dating excursions, because they are always so . . . shall we say, interesting?