I realized today, as Tracy and I were having yet another unlucky day of yard sales, that I miss what I thought Randy and I had together.
I thought we had trust and caring and fun. I thought he wanted me to be happy with him, and I thought he wanted to share his life with me. Obviously, these things aren't true, but that is what he led me to believe.
And so this is what I miss. I miss what I thought to be truth, and I think that the disappointment that I am feeling now is the disappearance of what I thought to be true. I think that this disappearance of truth is what disappoints us all: finding out there is no Santa, realizing that your parents are fallible, realizing that the person you love and trust isn't worthy of that love and trust.
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