Wednesday, June 25, 2008

OK, Universe, I Hear You!

Today I realized that the universe may be telling me something. Well, this thought was triggered by someone asking me, "I wonder what the universe is telling you?"

I replied, somewhat flippantly, "It's telling me to chill the hell out."

Then I laughed and screamed, "OK, universe, I hear you!"

So, I made myself a pact. I will chill the hell out. I will no longer worry about being alone forever. (This will prove to be impossible, but something that I can work on forever. Eternity. Infinity. Plus one.) I will do what I want, when I want. I will read more books. I will play more video games. I will write more blogs. (About what, I am not sure, but I will cross that bridge when I get to it.) I will play more. I will save up for my Prius.

I will worry less.

In other words: Universe, LAY OFF! I get it. Now, leave me alone and go bug some other super hip girl.

Friday, June 20, 2008

The Year of Yes: Date #7

OK, OK, many of you are probably wondering why I went on another date when I said I was taking a break. I will explain. But seriously. Date #7 solidified by reasoning behind why I am taking said break. Freak.

I had emailed Freak (I could come up with a more clever nickname, but this one just sums it all up in one simple word, and I think it appropriate) a month ago. I never got a response. Whatever. It happens all the time.

Then I got an email last Saturday morning. Here is an excerpt:

"I feel awkward approaching you after such a long period of time but I really do have a good excuse. And if all good relationships are predicated on trust then I will hope that you will trust me when I give it to you. But if you want it (the explanation) you will have to email me back to get it. But I will say this much; just because it looked like I was active on Match at or around the time you contacted me doesn't mean I was. Please email me back. I am very interested in seeing if we have more in common than a love of humor (I really am a riot to be around when I got my comedy mojo game on)."

I responded: "OK, I'll bite. What's the deal? And I don't like to do the whole, let's email forever thing."

He replied that he didn't either, and we exchanged phone numbers, and set up a date.

Freak was freaky. To put it mildly.

1) He is a vegetarian because he doesn't want to hurt any kind of animal if not absolutely necessary. OK. Sounds good to me.


2) He likes "his" women to be submissive in bed. And he likes to abuse them. OK, so you won't eat a steak, but you will beat your girlfriend?

Like I said, he's a Freak.

So I got home and emailed him my normal polite response to any freaky date I have: Hey, nice to have met you, but we won't make a good match. (Read: Hey freakzaoid, lose my number, wish I would have never met you, and I wish I would have never wasted a perfectly good Saturday night hanging out with the likes of you, asshole.)

He responded with THIS little tidbit:

I honestly, sincerely thank you for giving me an out, its hard when you are a considerate person and don't know how to tell people no, (that's what got me into that last situation, should have kicked her to the curb the first day I met her.) I tried to provide an out to you as well with some of my behaviors, I'm an actor at heart and all of life is a stage. By the way, I don't know how many women you've been with (I assume none) but you can't believe how many women are REALLY into being dominated. I am speaking from direct experience. I don't want to argue this with you, or belabor the point, but I know I am right about this. "

FREAK! Seriously, thank you for giving YOU an out? Did you not read the email message I sent you that said LOSE MY NUMBER, ASSHOLE? Did you not hear me when I said I had to go home because it was time for bed? Who says that on a first date who is interested in YOU? No one, that's who. And what does me being with other women have ANYTHING to do with how you like to dominate women in the bedroom? And since when is this kosher first-date topics of conversation?

Good God, what a freak.

Friday, June 6, 2008

People Who Are Waiting in Line for an Obligatory Cockpunch

1) The dude who hit the elderly man in Hartford, CT and left him paralyzed in the road and

2) all the people who stood on the sidewalk WATCHING and not doing anything.

3) Rush, Bill, etc.

4) The guy who invented conservipedia. A quote from my sister after I asked her what it was: "They [the conservatives] thought wikipedia was too liberal so they started another one for conservatives. Did they not realize that you can add your own shit to wikipedia, thus making it less liberal than you believe it to be? The whole friggin point of wikipedia? Christ almighty." God love my sister.

5) The lady (and others like her) who talk on their cell phone while in a public restroom. I have a friend who told me this is a particular problem in men's rooms. But seriously, as I am using the restroom, I do NOT want to hear about how Sandy's dad isn't doing well and whether or not Jessica should date that guy or not.

6) Flakes. I hate flakes. Why disappoint me later when you can just disappoint me now?

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Things That Make Me Happy: A Running List

1) Realizing after some 10-odd years that The X-Files is STILL a fantastic show.

Even though I stopped watching when Duchovny left the show (because as we all know, the shows where Mulder and Scully are apart kinda suck), I was convinced by friends and the upcoming movie premier to catch up on what I missed.

I missed the last two seasons of a kick ass show.

In college, I used to have The X-Files parties. Every Sunday, my girlfriends and I would convene at my apartment and we would turn off all the lights and watch the show. (Obviously, these were the days before the DVR, another thing that makes me happy.) We would sit quietly and only speak during the commercials. If the phone rang, I would pick it and slam it down, as Amanda once learned the hard way. During one season finale, I had a huge party and imbibed in a little too much red wine and passed out before the ending of the show. I missed the entire last episode and had to wait a whole summer to watch it. I caught the episode in Spain, but I understood as much of it there as I did in my drunken stupor. Ah, those were the days.

But when Mulder wasn't going to be a part of the show, I couldn't watch. I couldn't condone what Duchovny was doing! The horror. Leaving me to wonder what will happen to Scully, all alone. Who will save her when she goes to far to prove Mulder wrong? Who will tease her when she has a crush on a random vampire (played by a smoking hot Luke Wilson?) Who, my dear readers, will Scully flirt with in her Scully way? I couldn't bear the thought.

By the time Duchovny decided to come back to the show, I had already missed one season and couldn't get back into it to finish the series.

Now with the invention of Netflix (yet another thing that makes me happy) I can watch whatever TV show I want. And I do.

I simply can't get enough of it. Very rarely do I yearn to watch more of a TV show like I do The X-Files. I wait for my lunch to roll around so I can watch an episode. I don't go out to buy my lunch; I eat whatever is in the fridge so I don't waste precious minutes of my TV-watching hour. I start and wonder if somehow I can watch the rest of the episodes at my desk without anyone noticing.

I yearn for the day Mulder comes back on the show, but for now, I am happy watching one of the things that makes me happy.

Sunday, June 1, 2008


This was my first R.E.M. concert, and I have to say, I was simply amazed. I know R.E.M. is a huge rock band, and now I know why they deserve to be.

They put on an amazing show, and here are some of the pictures of our fantastic day & night in Berkeley.

Tracy and I as we are leaving Reno.

In Amoeba Records with the new R.E.M. CD, Accelerate.

Why, hello, lovely cup of wine.

Our view.

Modest Mouse! I danced to "Dance Hall" & "Dashboard" like a mad woman.

I am waiting patiently for R.E.M.

A Little Hiatus

I have decided to take a break from Internet dating.

I know, I know, you are all wondering why I would do such a thing, considering how successful it has been!!

But seriously. I have come to the realization that all of the rejection that online dating entails is really getting to me emotionally and physically, and frankly it is starting to affect my true friendships as well as my work.

One can only go on so many dates without success before one goes bat-shit crazy. I have gone bat-shit crazy. At least I am intelligent enough to realize that if someone were to institutionalize me, they wouldn't be wrong.

Although the Year of Yes would work for some people, those people are not me. I just simply cannot keep putting myself out there for the rejection that is waiting for me. Right now, my mind needs a break.

But keep posted. I will still be doing things. Just not a lot of dating things. Have a wonderful day, and remember how important all the relationships in your life are, not just the ones you had once or the ones you wish you had.