Dating Issues

My friend Emily emailed me yesterday and asked me if I ever have the problem of dismissing men before the first date is even over.

Yes, yes I do have that problem. If they do not IMMEDIATELY fit into my prescribed notion of what I want in a man, I dismiss him quicker than I can say, "I love you, Bono!" But I also think I should listen more to my instincts because of what happened with Randy: At first my instincts were like, "Ehhh, whatever." But then he kept pursuing me, and what girl doesn't like to be pursued, really? So I fell into the debacle I like to call The Mistake of Ought Seven, not to be confused with The What-Was-I-Thinking of Oughts Three to Five.

But I do have this problem. (And thank God it sounds like I am not the only one.) I often wonder, aloud sometimes, if I am being too picky. Do I have too much of a hard, set-in-concrete list of what I want in a partner? Am I looking for something that doesn't exist? Am I setting myself up to be alone forever because I never give anyone a chance?

And am I totally bitchy for not giving all men who are interested in me a chance, too? Is that hypocritical? But then I think, How can it be hypocritical to want the very best? I give myself the very best that I can, and all I ask for in another person is the same thing. And if he can't even look me in the eye as he is talking to me, then that is not the very best.