Today, as I was plucking my eyebrows, (a favorite pastime of mine, don't you know) I found a GRAY one. A GRAY EYEBROW HAIR!!! I immediately had images of my grandmother penciling in her eyebrows to make them darker. But instead of my grandma's face, it was mine! Then I started looking for the tell-tale eye wrinkles. Nope, none there, thank GOD! But a GRAY eyebrow! I seriously am beginning to wonder what the Bible said about the signs of the Apocalypse, because this has GOT to be one of them.
"And lo, behold, you will see a GRAY eyebrow upon your face, and you will know that a horseman will come with his three brothers. You will know that this is a sign. A sign of the upcoming destruction of the world, and of Jesus yet to come. After you have seen the GRAY eyebrow, you will then notice that no man will look toward you with an interested eye. He will look at you and glance away as if he has seen nothing. And then you will know that the four horsemen are soon on their way. Prepare for that time, as it is near!" - Revelations 3: 4-11
See? It's in the Bible. It must be the truth, because the Bible says so. I better go get ready. You know, drink more, start smoking again, general carousing.