Why, oh Why, Can I Not Shake This Feeling?

I seriously cannot shake this feeling that I have done something to deserve all of the heartache men have given me over the years. Did I torment a young boy when I was young and unknowing about karma? Did I ridicule someone into thinking less of themselves? Did I accidentally kill someone and I didn't know it?

Because somewhere, out there in karma-land, there is someone who has it in for me. Bad. But just in the men department. Not in the friend department, because I have always been blessed with amazing, beautiful, and loving friends. Not in the work department, because I have always been blessed with having a job when I need one, and usually a job I enjoy. Not in the family department, because I have truly an amazing family, who is (usually) fun to be around. (I kid, I kid.)

But in the men department, I have had nothing but bad, horrible ju-ju. Gay men seem to want to date me in order to convince others that they aren't gay. Drug addicts and dealers seem to want to date me because I seem stable and normal. Jerks seem to want to date me, because I "seem bitchy enough." Liars seem to want to date me because...well, I don't know why because I don't lie, unless it is to save your feelings. So, what is it? Am I throwing out bad men mo-jo? Because I have been going through the usual girl run-down: I'm not pretty enough (7? Please, I am waaaaaay hotter than a 7), I'm not smart enough (tell that to the graduate school entrance board. Smart enough to get in there, eh?), I'm not funny enough (well, that's just not true), I'm not ... what? Oh, wait. I think I might know. I'm not a big enough loser. Oh, I'm missing the loser gene! Thank God.

I just wish men could get it into their thick skulls that if they want a smart and independent woman, then they need to accept the traits that come with those things: independent thought, un-sheeplike behavior, and strength. Oh, you don't want a strong woman? Then you better rethink a minute.