So, as some of you may know, Randy and I are no longer. He was a jerk to me and a liar, and I have learned THAT lesson long ago, and I learned it the hard way. And so I go through the motions through my five stages:
1) Denial: Oh, seriously, he can't be doing this to ME. I mean, I kick ass. More ass than he could ever imagine kicking. Seriously. Do not doubt this. Because I do not doubt this in the least. So this can't be happening right now. He cannot possibly be acting like an idiot jackass to me right now. I told him that if he ever acted like an asshole to me, I would break up with him, so this must be a joke of some sick kind.
2) Anger: It's me, Micaela. I have a fuse the size of a flea and a temper the size of Montana. Need I say more? OK, I will say more: He is a selfish prick and he needs to pull his head out of his stupid ass.
3) Bargaining: OK, if he calls maybe I will listen to him... Only if he calls right now. OK, now. OK, if he calls me tomorrow....
4) Depression: Why hasn't he called me? I will be alone forever. I will forever be single and destined to date from a freaking website. Why did he have to tell me that he loved me and that he wanted to show me the world and that he would do anything to keep me near him and happy? He didn't mean it. Wah, wah, wah. (As I am writing this, I am not feeling this stage. But I will. Soon.)
5) Acceptance: Dickhead hasn't called me. Then I guess I need to move on. Or kick his ass. (I guess I haven't moved through stage #2 yet.)
I think I have been working through Stage 5 for a while now, and although I think I will LIVE in stage 2 for a while, I have pretty much accepted the fact that Randy is a liar who doesn't know what he wants. Because if I'm not good enough for him, then no one is. And I feel a strange kind of zen calm in knowing that.
No comments:
Post a Comment